Let Your Emotions Serve You and Not Enslave You!

By: Adam Khoo

As human beings, all of us possess tremendous potential. We just do
not make full use of our immense capabilities. Everybody has the
ability to develop successful relationships, build a successful
business, become the best in their field, make a million dollars
etc... All it takes is learning the right strategies and taking
massive action.

So, what stops most people from taking action and using their full
potential? Whenever I ask this question, the same reasons seem to
come up. Many people will admit that what stops them from taking
action is 'fear', 'uncertainty', 'doubt', 'depression',
'frustration', 'anger', 'laziness' or 'feelings of helplessness'.

Many salespeople don't succeed because they have the fear of
getting rejected. Many people who have the desire to start a
business never do so because of their self-doubt and fear of
failure. Many people who experience adversity do not take the
necessary actions to turn their life around because they feel too
depressed or frustrated. In other words, NEGATIVE EMOTIONS are the
main reason why people do not take action and realize their full
potential.

BUT Negative Emotions Serve a Positive Purpose. They are Signals that
We Need to Change Something.

So, if negative emotions are so 'bad', why do we have them? Why do
they exist? ! I believe that our creator did not give us negative
emotions to limit us or to punish us. In fact, negative emotions
serve a positive purpose. They are signals that tell us that we
need to change something. They are giving us the message that we
need to either change our perceptions or our actions!

The Positive Message of Fear

Throughout our lives, our minds will create the emotion of fear
whenever we face something new or challenging. The salesperson
experiences the fear of being rejected. The presenter experiences
fear before going on stage. So, why does our mind create this
feeling of fear? Fear is an emotion that signals to us that we need
to 'get better prepared'. This feeling is giving us a message that
in order to deal with the challenge ahead, we need to gain more
knowledge, skills and resources to succeed. That is a useful
message, isn't it?

Many people are surprised to know that I still feel fear before I
go on stage to give a talk, despite having been a professional
speaker for the last 15 years.

In fact, 3-4 days before any speaking engagement, I start feeling
the fear that hundreds of people will be listening to me and
judging me. I have the fear that I may not live up to their
expectations. This fear signals to me that I have to get prepared.
It motives me to plan way ahead. I spend hours doing research on my
topic, writing a powerful speech and crafting my slides. This fear
drives me to rehearse my speech in my mind over and over again
until I know exactly what to say, how to say it and when to say it.

The moment I am fully prepared to give my absolute best, my fear is
at a minimal. I have made use of my fear to help me constantly
deliver my best each and every time. I can imagine that if I had no
fear, I would not have bothered to have prepared so hard and would
probably have given a lousy speech.

So, it is perfectly normal to feel fear. Everybody gets scared,
both ordinary and extraordinary people. The difference lies in how
they deal with it. Unfortunately, most people allow their fears to
limit them from taking action. They get the fear of public speaking
so they avoid it completely. They will never dare to speak in
public.

Frustration Signals to Us that We Have to Change Our Strategy

Another common negative emotion that many of us may experience is
'frustration'. Frustration is an emotion we feel when we are not
able to get the result we want despite repeated attempts. Most
people allow the feeling of frustration to overwhelm them so much
that they get angry and quit ever attempting it again. Haven't you
been so frustrated at something or someone and said to yourself,
'whatever!', threw your hands up in surrender and walk off?

Once again, Frustration is there to give us a message. It serves a
useful purpose. When we feel frustrated, the signal is telling us
that we have to change our strategy. We have to do something
different, to get the results we want. One of my students is an
insurance advisor (specializing in corporate insurance) that was
getting so frustrated with her job that she felt like quitting
after three months. She was getting frustrated that despite making
hundreds of calls to prospects, she couldn't even secure an
appointment. She kept getting rejection after rejection.

When she attended my program, I told her
that as long as she did not listen to the message of her
frustration, she would never reach her sales targets. Her
frustration was a clear signal that she had to change her strategy
in the way she engaged her prospects.

Upon reflection, she realized that whenever she said that she was
offering 'corporate insurance evaluation', people closed their
minds and immediately said that they weren't interested. She
decided to use a different strategy. She would call her prospects
(bosses of companies) and say, 'I am a corporate strategy advisor.
Do you have the intention to list your company on the stock
exchange?' That statement immediately got their attention.

If their answer was no, she would say, 'do you realize that if
something happens to you, the shares you own in your company may
become worthless? Your loved ones may not be able to sell the
shares to extract its value. Could you spare a few minutes to learn
how to assign a market value to your company so that it can be
easily sold in the future?' By using this unique approach, her
appointment rate shot up and she increased her sales by 400% in
just 6 months.

So, you can see that 'negative emotions' like fear, frustration,
anger, depression and disappointment are not really bad at all.
They can really help us to become much more successful. We just
have to ensure that they serve us and not immobilize us from taking
action. So, whenever you experience a negative emotion, listen to
the message and act on it. And once you have heard the message,
breakout of the negative emotion so you no longer feel bad about
it.

To your success,
Adam

The Important Things In Life!

What's in your jar?

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "Yes."

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."